Ramblings of a Traumatized Quilter Who Laid Awake All One Night Crying Over Stuff That Didn't Actually Burn. then cried again later for things that did.

Oh my, where to start? Finally get my Internet back today and I don't even know what to say or how to say it. It's been quite the emotional 3 1/2 weeks around here. Life was just scooting along like normal and then kaboom! Seemingly out of nowhere, we have a fire racing down the hill behind our house and approximately a 20-30 minute window of evacuation time. I always thought I'd know exactly what would be important enough to grab and make a run with... but the reality is so very, very different. The mind kind of fogs over and logical thinking quickly gets hijacked by adrenaline--plus the very intense messages being sent out in neon colors to just ignore 'things' in favor of getting loved ones to a safe place NOW.

Finally, a moment spent on quilting. I can't seem to settle
or think properly about any of my UFO's so I try this on a whim.

Because really, things are replaceable--we all know that. And people aren't. But oh how my heart aches for people like my parents and sister who essentially lost everything overnight. My mom had a quilt room easily six times the size of mine, mountains of fabric everywhere, half finished quilt projects up the kazoo and so many beautiful quilts we'll never, ever see again. I want to shower her with fabric, but she doesn't need that right now. She needs pots and pans and a salt shaker. New throw rugs and a nice comfy recliner. I gave her a quilt made with fabrics from my grandma (her mom) and she accused me of trying to make her cry. I kind of think it doesn't take much these days, for her or anyone else similarly affected by the fire.

Vintage basket blocks (bought at Farm Chicks in Spokane).
The blocks have rust stains on them and the hand piecing
is not so wonderful--too risky to make into a proper quilt.

But they are doing very well in spite of the devastation. Most people are around here. We have such a great community with people pulling in to help from everywhere. It's simply unbelievable to see the hoards of people who have pitched in to help with everything from immediate relief supplies, showers, meals etc, to help find temporary housing and clean-up detail. This little valley out in the middle of nowhere is very quickly getting the rubble scraped up and sent on down the road. Which feels good and oh so necessary. The generosity extended in our time of need has been nothing short of incredible. Overwhelming and touching. Words are inadequate, but know that it's been an amazing thing to witness, the friends, neighbors and family rallying to give of whatever's needed. Then there are the strangers. Giving, giving, giving of their time, money, homes and possessions. Who knew?

I decide to make a table runner. Something quick and rewarding.
So good that when I cut the blocks down, it actually cuts away most of the
staining. Fray check takes care of the worst of the unskilled stitching.

Our story is not nearly as tragic as so many others, but let me tell you, we've all been affected in one way or another. My immediate family came back home to stay after nine days (even without access to power) because we simply couldn't stay away any longer. Home sweet home. I think everyone just walked around in a daze touching things and letting tears leak out of our eyes because of the enormity of our blessings. The reality of other peoples losses. I picked up my hand quilting only once in those nine days. Who would have believed it of me? I think my heart hurt too much.

I decide to hand quilt with chunky Perle Cotton thread.
Working with fabric makes me feel very emotional but the make-do
piecing feels exactly right for some reason. It all comes
together into something that looks like it belongs in my home so I'm happy.
It feels like an honor to give these beautiful old blocks new life.

After coming home, I just wanted to clean. So much dust and ash, grime throughout the house and in every corner and crevasse possible. The acrid smell of smoke in most of our clothing, all our towels and of course the linens. I felt like a woman possessed. We did what we could before the power came on and then immediately after, essentially attacked the house. My husband got a small dumpster delivered and we started purging our house. It was sort of weird, but after thinking everything had been burnt to the ground and then coming to realize we had been spared? There were things that just needed to go.

Something else I've been working on as I'm easing myself
back into the quilting mode. All the decisions were previously made
for putting this part of the quilt top together. I needed an easy peasy project.
Just me and chain piecing therapy hard at work in the quilt room!

We've had help from the insurance too. A restoration company sent a three woman crew to clean for two days, a duct cleaning crew plus a carpet/upholstery cleaning crew. We had three Hepa filters running for most of two days. Volunteer help has worked on the outside clearing the burnt hillside of scorched trees and shrubs plus a charred fence. My husband is planning to pressure wash our house next month too when things start to slow down. ha ha Don't make me laugh. I think we'll leave the one blackened piece of siding for a memory. A talisman if you will. It could have been so much worse. Oh my, could it ever have been so very much worse.

The front yard is still an eyesore, but truly, it kind of was before. The pots of flowers survived (judicious watering with water bottles until the city water came back online) which makes us all smile, sitting there in the midst of absolute chaos and debris cluttered throughout the yard. But we're starting to feel like life around might be getting back to normal, although we're all pretty sure it's a 'new' normal. In our minds there's always going to be a 'before' the fire and an 'after' the fire in the chronological telling of life events. It is a huge thing in our lives to have to experience. For example, my son didn't whistle for two whole days. (Normally he only stops when he's eating or sleeping.) And now, my daughter always comes back from her evening run with damp eyes because she's running past the charred property and homes of so many we know. 

Thank you to everyone for all the wonderful care and concern. I simply don't have the time right now to respond personally to all my emails and get caught up like I wish I could. Debra, you are an absolute sweetheart for checking up on me and I'm sorry I missed out on your blog thing. Diane, I am fine, better than fine actually. Thanks for being my friend.:) Angie, I LOVE the eagle button--will add it to my blog soon, I promise.

p.s. Oh yes, I'll still be awol for awhile longer as we're leaving soon for our planned trip to Oklahoma to see our son graduate from OSUIT. Life does just keep doing its thing, doesn't it? I feel comfortable telling you as there will be people in and out of our home even in our absence. I did a quick cruise through blogland looking at various blogs and projects--lots of great stuff to see and drool over. Hopefully I can get back to my regular quilting/posting by the end of August or first part of September and of course I'm packing an applique bag for the road trip almost as I speak.*wink